I have thought alot about the word FEAR since doing my teacher training with Soul Sanctuary. I have pondered on how many times it has stopped me from doing wonderful things, missing amazing opportunities and enjoying life to the full!
Yesterday I took a train trip from Bath back home and it brought up one of my fears (samskaras) in Yogic terms. A long while ago, my hubby and I took a trip to London and left our little babies with their grandparents as we ventured to the big city for a break. After having a beautiful day, we sauntered off to the train station to catch our ride home. As we got closer to the information board my heart sank, my stomach turned and my body went into fight/flight/freeze as my sympathetic nervous system kicked in. My head filled with thoughts of my babies and how I couldn't get back to them. That lovely day was over shadowed by my fear. Even a nice hotel, great company and good food could not distract me from my mind. It was one of the worst nights of my life!
The mind is so poweful, it dictates how we react physically and emotionally if we let it. Laura Clayton from Soul Sanctuary wrote a blog on the 1st of October stating that it has been proven by Martin Seligman a psychologist, that our happiness is determined 50% of the time by our mind processes, the other 50% is split between being 40% genetics and 10% from our environment. My thoughts a few years ago were very negative compared to now. I lived in the past and the future an awful lot. I worried about the things I had done and how they effected everyone around me which led to depression and I also stressed about the future and what it had in store for me which led to anxiety. So this research totally makes sense to me. Through my yoga practice I have learned to control my mind and therefore my thoughts, which can be seen on and off my mat. Yesterdays train trip was one of those occasions where the benefits of yoga came through. I got on the train and instantly knew it was the wrong one, it stopped at Bristol Temple Meads and terminated. I calmly collected my case, hopped off the train and the first thing my eyes were drawn to was just how many platforms there were (16)!!! So my thoughts kicked in and went something like this:
Oh No you are lost
Take a deep breath and close your eyes
Open your eyes and read the screen for a train to Gloucester
Ah there's one due in a few moments
Ground yourself
You are going to be ok, you will always find your way home (wise words from Laura Clayton)
Ask for support/help just to confirm that is the right train
Then I slowly walked up to someone in a high vis jacket and told them I got on the wrong train and I needed to get to Gloucester. They replied "no problem you need platform 15 which is right next to the platform we are on and the train will be here in a few moments". Fantastic I thought and I hopped on the train. The next conversation I had with myself was:
Well done you
You did it
You used your yoga practice and grounded yourself
You also asked for support and guess what, you got it
Breathe, you are on your way home
I'm so proud of you
Now all this may sound silly to someone who uses the train frequently and is confident with their ability to be calm in a stressful situation, and I get that. But this was massive for me, I had a deeply ingrained scar (samskara) tucked away which suddenly rose to the top because I hadn't faced it previously, I had just pushed it down and hidden it away. But yesterday, my training in Yoga and my Teacher Training through Soul Sanctuary Yoga School kicked in quite naturally as if it was second nature. I think it is so amazing how an ancient practice on my mat has changed the neuroplasticity in my brain, so that I think in a more positive way. My commitment to meditation every morning when I wake up and asana practice every day has certainly paid off. Allowing time just for me and what I need in my life and not feeling guilty about it is a wonderful practice. Also, by being compassionate and accepting towards myself and knowing that I will be okay wherever I am, has led me to these beautiful moments. I'm not saying it's an easy practice but what I am saying is, yoga works. It helps in daily life to guide me through the many blocks and fears, the ups and the downs, the sad and the happy moments. Yoga has taken my fears and changed the lense on them. It has made me see them in a different light, turned my fears into opportunities and now turned those opportunities into my passion - teaching yoga myself.
What an amazing feeling to have turned my thoughts into happy ones by investing in myself and watching all these wonderful moments present themselves. The future is extremely bright due to taking a leap of faith and believing anything is possible.
Ananda to you all, joy and bliss to you all xxx
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