I have chosen this picture to represent how I am feeling right now and how I have mostly felt, throughout my menopausal journey so far. The pink cherry tree, blue skies and the smile on my face represents my feelings from around the age of 48, when i started to take back control of myself. The joy I have felt most days for being here on this planet, feeling the love from my husband and daughter and son and diving into my own self enquiry is right there captured on film. Finding myself, through the fog of the teenage years, motherhood and early peri-menopause has been the most wonderful experience. I often say to myself 'hello...I'm back, it's been a while and you have many scars, but you have survived and you have many glorious memories.'
I didn't realise I was going through the peri-menopause until around 1-2 years ago, which when you think about it is really strange, as I am part of 51% of the population that inevitably will. I can't remember the exact moment but I am so joyful to have learnt so much and to be sharing my story now with you.
As i've mentioned in previous blogs, my late 30's and 40's were filled with many happy moments but blighted by anxiety! Never living in the moment and always worrying about the past and the future, mostly living in my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) with cortisol running around my body keeping me in a state of heightened intensity and always on high alert.
My symptoms were and are vast, like so many other women, no wonder we think we are going bonkers:
Heart palpitations; nervousness; insomnia; excitability; anxiety/panic; difficulty concentrating; fatigue; unmotivated; lack of interest; depressed; crying; irritable; dizziness; muscle/joint pain; hot flushes; vaginal atrophy; low libido; gastrointestinal problems; itchy skin, I'm sure i have forgotten a few but these are MY symptoms which have been present over the last few years. I'm sure many of you will be able to relate.
At 48, I decided to change my lifestyle through what I was putting into my body and what I was doing physically and mentally to my body. I put myself on the Joe Wicks lifestyle plan (which is not a diet by the way) and started to practice yoga alongside jogging and HIIT classes and slowly I started to reap the benefits. I stopped treating myself to a glass of wine most evenings as I realised it wasn't helping my vasomotor symptoms (hot flushes). I changed my job recently by qualifying as a Yoga Teacher which also helps with my well-being whilst teaching others about this beautiful ancient practice. All this has been blummin hard work mentally, physically, financially, socially but I feel like a totally different person now investing in myself! Alot happier and more fullfilled with my life.
My final piece of the puzzle was to trial HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). Whilst it has been a tough few months researching and talking to the Doctor, explaining why I wanted to replace the hormones I'm loosing through peri-menopause, many blood tests and blood pressure readings, I have finally succeeded and I slapped a patch of oestrogen on my thigh on Sunday morning - hurrah. Now HRT I know is controversial and there is a bit of a revolution going on at the moment in Parliment and on Social Media. I am not doing this diary to tell anyone who reads it that they should or should not be on HRT...no no no! I am doing this diary to show my personal journey, my research, and how HRT will be affecting my symptoms and my health over the coming months/years. It may be of interest or it may not, I just feel I need to put this out there to help other women understand what is happening to our bodies during the peri-menopause; menopause and post-menopause and if we educate ourselves and our children, husbands, partners, friends and family we may be able to help ourselves in the process.
So, my next blog will be a month from now and I am hoping that I will see some differences in my symptoms - fingers crossed. It is just the begining of my HRT journey and I am excited to see if it helps alongside all the changes I have made. I will be sharing books; podcasts; websites; instagram; and all my research for you to decide if you want to look into this subject further. You are more than welcome to email me if you just want to chat about the menopause and what I have learnt so far. I wish all my fellow females love and compassion for your personal journey and I hope you find some comfort in my blogs xxx
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