Registered Yoga Teacher...WOW

Just finished my 200 Hour intensive Power Vinyasa Yoga Training with Soul Sanctuary Yoga School in Worcester. Six weeks of self enquiry and everything Yoga. To say I am very proud of myself is an understatement. Daily tears and laughter with an amazing group of women, who held space for each other. This has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life! How often do you get to share your life with complete strangers who really listen without trying to fix your problems and who also allow you the time and space to find out where all your pain is coming from? For anyone who thinks they may need therapy like this...go for it, you won't regret it and it's all about investing in yourself. I have shared my deepest thoughts with 11 amazing souls whom I will always hold space for and be grateful to have met on this journey.

Did you know that Yoga is not just about the pose (asana)? There are 8 limbs (parts) to Yoga and the pose is 4th on the list, not 1st! So many things come before the seat. The Western teachings predominantly focus on the pose but at Soul Sanctuary you get something very different. You learn about the Psychology. It all starts with the Yamas and Ni-yamas, the way we actually live our daily lives. The Yamas are the restraints, the ways in which we do not want to live and the Ni-Yamas are the observances, the ways in which we do want to. The Yamas are non-harm(Ahimsa), truthfullness (Satya), not stealing (Asteya), focus (Brahmacharya) and non-covetousness(Aparigraha).The Ni-Yamas are cleanliness(Saucha), contentment(Samtosa), heat(Tapas), study of sacred scriptures and of ones-self(Svadhyaya) and finally surrender to something greater(Isvara pranidhana). I will delve into these another time in another blog.

Another part of yoga that comes before the Asana is Pranayama (Breath control). This is something that has helped me on my pathway, through meditation and Asana. When I control my breath and focus on it, I totally come out of thinking and into feeling what my body needs in that particular moment. It's very powerful the more you practice. There were times early on in my teacher training when I felt out of my depth, particularly when talking to large groups of people. Everyone looked as though they had their shit together and my head was telling me I did'nt...thankyou ego i love you too! Strange thing was the more I shared, the easier that feeling of inadequacy became. Letting everything out made me feel better. As i've mentioned in previous blogs, I'd spent the best part of 20 years in fight/flight (my sympathetic nervous system) feeling very anxious and not worthy of others. This training course, through self-enquiry has given me the platform to express myself and believe that I can be a Yoga Teacher. The amazing support I have received from my fellow soul sisters and inspirational teachers has bolstered this belief. I do hope you can see how Yoga can transform lives if you open up your heart as I have done.

Where Yoga teaching will take me I'm not sure yet? But what I am sure of is that I want to help others feel what I feel. My journey to my own soul has been in progress for a couple of years now and it's not a quick process. I have done lots of self-enquiry and practiced meditation and asana daily. I actually didn't think I had much work on myself left to do until I started the training...how wrong was I? The teachers at Soul Sanctuary helped me to figure out where my trauma was coming from. It was totally different to where I thought it stemmed from. The trauma I suffered through pregnancy and illness which I have spoken about in a previous blog, is where it came from. I feel it is so important to find the root of our suffering as it enables us to understand why our mental health is the way it is and why we act the way we do. It helps us understand why we abuse ourselves through self loathing, drinking, eating, drugs to name a few.

This teacher training is not just a course to show you how to teach a 90 minute power vinyasa class, it is so much more! It teaches you to be compassionate towards yourself and others, to listen to yourself and others, to express your feelings in a safe space, know that you have the strength and stamina to put in a 90 hour week and most of all for me, to realise that I am capable of so much more. Failure is not an option anymore (Laura Clayton) but SUCCESS is.

I would like to acknowledge some of the most amazing women who have touched my soul during this process starting with Laura Clayton who is the most giving and selfless person I have ever met. Polly Woodward who has such a beautiful, caring and nourishing soul. Charly Sidway who for such a young woman has been through such a lot and is so wise and inspiring. Finally, my Soul Sisters Emily, Anj, Hollie, Tori, Ella, Lu, Lucy, Sophie, Wendy, Annie, Bic the most wonderful of women all on their own journey, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and compassion you have shown me throughout this journey. I also want to mention my family Dave, Jack and Samara who without their support allowing me to take this time just for me, I would not have qualified to be a Yoga Teacher. Thank you to you all xxx